Addicted to Achievement: The Hustle You Can't Quit

When Achievement Becomes Addiction

The hidden toll of chasing success—and how to break the cycle before it breaks you.

I once listened to an executive laugh about how she bought a headlamp so she could sneak into the bathroom once her husband was asleep and work on her laptop. He frequently complained about how tired she was, so this was her trick for working and not “getting caught.”

A client recently told me that, on vacation, she and her husband argued because she was always checking her email and stressing about work.

At a conference a few years ago, I passed someone wearing a lanyard that proclaimed them a “workaholic.” I asked about it, and they said it was the award they’d won at their company’s banquet.

Where does checking your phone fall in your morning and evening routine? When was the last time you went to the dentist or got your annual physical? Lost contact with any good friends in the last few months? Have you ever been so driven to succeed that you didn’t notice your health, your relationships, or your peace quietly slipping away?

If so, you’re not alone. Especially in American culture, overworking has become something many companies celebrate and glorify—often to the detriment of us, the workers. In my coaching work, I see this pattern all the time—especially with high-performing professionals and leaders. The ones who carry the weight of the world. The ones who always deliver. The ones who don’t know how to stop.

This post isn’t about burnout (though it’s related). It’s about something sneakier. Something that hides behind promotions, productivity, and praise.

It’s about achievement addiction—and how easy it is to lose yourself inside it.

The Addiction We Applaud

Achievement addiction doesn’t come with a warning label. In fact, most people will congratulate you for having it.

“She’s a workhorse!” Sounds so valuable, right?

You get rewarded for always going the extra mile. For saying yes to one more thing. For being the person who can handle it all. There’s no intervention. No awkward conversations. No red flags. Just more applause.

But behind the scenes, the cost can be steep. You may find yourself:

• Feeling anxious when you're not doing something “productive.”

  To test this, go to a coffeehouse, sit in a chair, and do nothing. Don’t touch your phone or computer. Don’t read a book. Don’t strike up a conversation. Just sit there.

  Does it make you crazy?

  
  

• Basing your self-worth on your performance.

  An executive client recently told me she’s started watching The Morning Show before work every day. She said this sheepishly, like it was a confession.

  Some signs your self-worth is misplaced:

  • Feeling guilty about resting or engaging in self-care

  • Taking criticism at work personally

  • Hiding your struggles and avoiding asking for help

    
    

• Moving the goalposts every time you hit them.

  This happens frequently to high achievers. By the umpteenth time I made the honor roll at school, my mom just gave me a little “nice job” and moved on. The best became the expectation. So, my expectations for myself got bigger… and bigger… and bigger.

  What was objectively excellent became just average for me. Sound familiar?

  
  

• Living in a constant state of “what’s next?”

  Having goals is admirable, but there’s a fine line between dreaming big and never being satisfied.

  
  

It looks like ambition. It sounds like drive.

But it feels like restlessness. Disconnection. Emptiness.

Why This Happens

This isn’t just about work ethic or personality. Often, there’s something deeper at play:

• Early wiring: Many of us learned, early on, that love and approval came when we achieved. That message sticks.

• Unprocessed trauma: Fight/flight responses don’t always look like panic—they can look like overwork. The full version of “fight or flight” is actually “fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.” The fawn part can look like overperformance and constant achievement in pursuit of approval.

• Safety through control: When the world feels uncertain, achievement gives us something to grip onto.

  
  

  How many times have you heard, “You can’t control other people—only yourself”?

  Or, “If you can dream it, you can do it”?

  You can—but do you have to?

  Can’t you just relax?

  
  

In other words: It’s not about ego. It’s about protection.

But the strategies that once kept us safe can start to keep us stuck.

If adults acted like toddlers, the workplace would be a mess, right? But the truth is, we all bring our toddler selves to work—and those unmet needs and encoded messages affect how we show up decades later.

Breaking the Cycle

If any of this resonates, take a breath. You’re not broken. You’re not doing it wrong. And there’s a way through.

Here’s what I invite you to try:

• Get curious about stillness.

  What happens when you’re not achieving? What thoughts come up? What sensations show up in your body?

  The answers might be uncomfortable—and incredibly revealing.

  
  

• Redefine success on your own terms.

  What if success was about impact, not output? Presence, not performance?

  
  

• Practice enoughness.

  Not after the next goal. Not when you earn more or prove more.

  Right now. Just as you are.

  
  

• Work with someone who can hold space.

  Coaching can be a powerful way to explore what’s driving your patterns—and what freedom could look like on the other side.

  
  

A Final Thought

What if your biggest impact came not from striving, but from showing up fully?What if the version of you that’s most magnetic, most grounded, most whole… is already here?

You don’t have to earn your worth. You just have to remember it.