Mergers Are Messy: Lead with Clarity, Not Chaos

I’ve heard it said that data isn’t emotional.  But consider a CEO reviewing data showing the company is rapidly falling behind competitors.  A physician reviewing data suggesting their patient outcomes are below average. The data may not be emotional, but it definitely generates plenty of big feelings. And so does a merger.

Being acquired can feel like winning and losing at the same time.

Let’s say your company just found a strategic partner. You’ll gain access to new resources, markets, and technologies and there may even be more opportunity for career development. On paper, it’s a smart business move. Not emotional in the least. But for the leaders and employees inside the company, it’s a different story.

An acquisition shakes identity, rattles trust and creates uncertainty. As a leader, you may find yourself caught in the middle: expected to rally the team while managing your own doubts about what the future holds. You’re expected to be the gracious host of this awkward party, even if you’re not sure you’re on the guest list anymore. You can’t control the deal—but you can control how you manage through it

This is your chance to guide with clarity, compassion, and credibility—even if you don’t have all the answers.

Why Acquisitions Feel Like Emotional Earthquakes

First, let’s address the elephant in the room—or rather, the new elephants who just moved into your office. Acquisitions shake up the very foundation of your workplace identity. Suddenly, the familiar landmarks are gone, and you’re left wondering:

• Who are we now? The company culture you knew is evolving, and it’s unclear what traditions will survive the merger.

• Do I still matter here? Roles and responsibilities are in flux, and job security feels like a distant memory. That promotion you were aiming for – does that role even exist now?

• How do I navigate this new terrain? New systems, new processes, new jargon—it’s like starting a new job without leaving your desk.

  
  

And let’s not forget the unspoken tension: the acquiring company often holds the reins, leaving your team feeling like passengers on a journey with no itinerary and a lot of sea sickness.

Leading with Clarity and Compassion: Your Survival Guide

So, how do you steer this ship through choppy waters without capsizing? Here are some strategies to keep you afloat:

1. Call Out the Awkwardness

Pretending everything is business as usual is like ignoring a spinach leaf stuck in your teeth—everyone sees it, and it’s just uncomfortable. Acknowledge the weirdness.

Try saying “I know this transition brings a lot of uncertainty and mixed emotions. It’s okay to feel a bit off-kilter.”

By naming the discomfort, you’re giving your team permission to process their feelings, which is the first step toward moving forward.  Sugarcoating the reality will cost you your credibility at a time when you need it most.

2. Be Present, Even When You Don’t Have Answers

Your team doesn’t expect you to have a magic wand (though that would be nice). They do, however, need to know you’re in the trenches with them.

• Show up. Regular check-ins, even brief ones, can reassure your team that you’re accessible.  You haven’t cut and run.  Your team is still a team, at least for now.

• Listen more than you speak. Sometimes, people just need to vent without immediately jumping to solutions. Listen a lot, then listen some more.

  
  

Your presence is a stabilizing force amidst the chaos. They look to you as indication of whether things are ok, in the same way that airplane passengers glance anxiously at flight attendants during turbulence.  If they aren’t panicking, we are probably all ok, right?

3. Provide Anchors in the Storm

In a sea of change, a few constants can prevent your team from drifting into the abyss.

• Highlight what’s staying the same. Maybe your core mission remains unchanged, or certain projects are continuing as planned.

• Maintain routines where possible. Regular meetings or team rituals can offer a sense of normalcy.  Monthly birthday celebration, anyone?!

These anchors don’t eliminate uncertainty, but they offer a lifeline of familiarity.  You may not know what will happen in six months but you know the team’s goals for NEXT month, right?  Of course you do.  Focus on that.

4. Bridge the Cultural Divide

Resist the urgent to openly lament the loss of the “good old days” and rail against the changing of the guard.  Vent up, not out and certainly not down to your team.

Act as a translator between cultures.

• Invite questions and reflections: “What feels different? What do you want to understand more?”

• Highlight areas of alignment: “This reminds me of how we…”

• Offer feedback to the acquiring side when something isn’t landing well, if you have the opportunity to do so.

As a leader in the company, as harsh as this may sound, you’re not here to protect the old culture—you’re here to shape the new one.

 5. Put On Your Own Oxygen Mask First

You cannot give what you do not have.  If you aren’t emotionally regulated, you can’t help anyone else.

• Check your own narrative. Are you viewing this acquisition as a catastrophe or an opportunity? Is this narrative rooted in fact or are you writing a novella from the makings of your mind?

• Prioritize self-care. Whether it’s exercise, meditation, laughter with good friends, or binge-watching your favorite show, find what feeds your spirit.

• Equip yourself:  If you are having trouble processing the change, managing the uncertainty, or leading your team, get some help.  Find a coach, a mentor, a leadership podcast.  Get tools to skill up, fast.

  
  

Your team takes cues from you; modeling resilience and self-care gives them permission to do the same.

What Your Team Craves Right Now

In the midst of this corporate upheaval, your team is looking for:

• Stability. A calm presence that suggests, “We’ve got this.”

• Honesty. Transparent communication, even if it’s admitting you don’t have all the answers.

• Empathy. Recognition that this is a challenging time for everyone.

• Belonging. Assurance that they belong, at least in the team that exists now, from what you know now.

  
  

Your Leadership Legacy in the Making

Here’s the deal: the way you lead during this acquisition will be the story your team tells long after the dust settles. I know this from experience.  People who worked with me ten years ago still talk about the things I did when their boss was suddenly outed, and I took over (it was a shock to all of us).  Sort of like an acquisition on a much smaller scale. 

This is your moment to demonstrate what compassionate, clear-headed leadership looks like when it matters most.

You might not control the merger, but you have immense power over how your team experiences it.

Being authentic, letting your humanity show, maintaining realistic positivity, and staying calm will help your team remain emotionally regulated while the storm of the merger comes and passes.  And it will pass.  Hang in there.